Today, when I was on the dancefloor in a rave, someone punched me in the face. It was totally unprovoked.
The timeline of events a bit fragmented. I don't remember the faces of the persons involved - I was too damn perplexed. The punch was preceeded by the following unusual actions: Someone asked me if the party was good, someone slapped me in the back, someone asked for light to the cigarette, I switched the position in the dancefloor to avoid further interference from that person. Then, someone touched my arm with a burning cigarette. Two persons took a fighting position in the dancefloor, but it didn't seem like a fight. I looked at them and made some uncontrolled gestures with my face (kind of impossible not to notice and not to attach attention). Someone took a fighting position at a different direction. I ignored him, thinking that it is not directed at me, but someone else (the direction was open to interpretation). I got a punch to my face. I exited dancefloor.
Some foreign person came at me and directed me to the bathroom, where he drew attention to the fact that I was bleeding between nose and eye. From bathroom I went to talk with bouncers. They got some ice (I didn't even know that ice was the correct response, not having run into this kind of situation before). After cooling down the wound for half an hour with a bag of ice, I exited the facility.
The bouncers saw two persons they suspected exiting the bar, and someone coming to them to announce that someone has been hit after that. They speculated that the folks came there instead of the going to now-closed Senssi - "väärät tyypit väärissä bileissä" - so it wasn't the rave people who did it.
It is extremely unfortunate that I don't remember the faces of the persons who did it, and that I was perplexed by the situation. Had I known what to do, I could have delayed the situation until the bouncers arrive - backing down, but not just exiting the dancefloor. This could have made it into a criminal matter, where the assholes get actually punished for it, and I would have gotten some monetary compensation.
This is exactly the kind of situation described in Vera's log about the optimal amount of violence in society, and my response to it. If I had known some self-defense, I wouldn't have been perplexed; the thugs have gotten actually punished.
By the way, unlike Jari Vaarma, my opinion is that this kind of violence sucks as much as anything can suck. Also, tiedemies, if you think that a punch to the face is the correct response to bad test results, you're wrong.
I guess that it is time to stop the whole dance hobby. The problem is not violence, but the fact that it is extremely inefficient way to familiarize with new girls. In the three months that the Chinese course lasted this year, I talked with two girls on the same course in leisure setting. After the course, they went to the same student restaurant, and I went to the same table and asked if they wanted company, to which they answered positively.
On the contrary, I haven't familiarized with new girls in the rave setting. I have talked with some girls, which I have first met on another setting, but that is also very rare. Taking into account that I have visited rave events for about a year now, that's extremely inefficient.
Maybe I should get some real hobbies. Self-defence/martial arts is a good candidate. Then, the next time some asshole punches me to the face I know what to do. And a martial arts course is probably a much better place to familiarize with new girls.
5 comments:
No.
Violencia nao resolve nada.
First of all, this punch can be considered as a warning sign: "There are numerous people, who have a very different view of violence, and who also apply it. Be happy that you survived with only a small black patch below an eye. Next time, you may not be so lucky."
Secondly, in the self-defence courses they teach also other things than giving tit for tat - things like locking the opponent, detaching from a grip, dodging, and so on.
My basic mistake was to naively think that nobody is stupid enough to punch other people on the dance floor. So I interpreted the fight to be a show by two drunks, something to be ignored rather than paid attention to.
Of course this isn't an excuse of any kind, but people tend to misinterpret your body language. You often appear hostile or angry, even though you probably aren't. People are strange, and usually if anyone (not counting the bums and insane) approaches you, it is safest to aswer at least with a smile or some friendly and meaningless words.
It's been well over a decade since I got my ass kicked the last time (the older you get, the less violence there is around) but I remember the frustration and humiliation. Yet, being vengeful only worsens the situation. Quite contrary, it would be better to learn to appear friendly and relaxed in practically any situation. It works with the girls too. Women and bullies share a mindframe, even though women don't have muscles enough to behave similarly.
>By the way, unlike Jari Vaarma, my opinion is that this kind of violence sucks as much as anything can suck.
The behaviour you described seems to me just plain stupid (on behalf of the thugs). After reading your story, I cannot see any reason or benefit in punching you. Maybe some kind of drunken rage. Certainly I wouldn't have punched you.
I do not especially admire violence.
Instead I consider it as a necessary evil, a basis to all power. Because of such thugs you came across with, it is good to have around institutionalized professionals of violence (bouncers, policemen, army).
I went to raves for a decade and despite about 30% of the people being under the influence of dangerous and illegal drugs, I only saw a fight once and even that was perpetrated by a drink idiot. PLUR.
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